Posted in Community, Culture, Family, Home, Personal

Call Me Old-Fashioned, but…

I wandered into a local children’s boutique on a mission. I was in full-on nesting mode, decorating the nursery for my soon to be born daughter. The item I was searching for? Crib bedding. It had already been decided that yellow and gray would adorn the walls and decorations. It had been eighteen years since I had a baby and I remembered being able to purchase a bed-in-a-bag with all the matching sheets, crib skirts, blankets, and throw pillow.

“Can I help you find something?” The sales clerk asked.
“Yes, I’m looking for crib sets.”
“You mean like crib sheets?”
“I’d like to find a whole set with blankets and bumper pads, too.”
“We don’t sell bumper pads anymore. They’re too controversial!”
“I didn’t know bumper pads were controversial,” I said, confused.
“Oh honey, what’s not controversial these days?”

She was right. As I began to prepare for the birth of my daughter, I was learning that many things deemed “normal” when I had my older children were now considered taboo. I fed on demand, co-slept, and didn’t abide by a stringent feeding schedule or practice sleep training. Apparently I am a bad parent because of that. How could things have changed so drastically in the course of two decades?

After my daughter was born, my husband and I were excited to get her ears pierced. In my family, girls getting their ears pierced was a rite of passage. In my husband’s Hispanic family, it was a cultural tradition. I had taken both of my older daughter’s to get theirs done after their four month vaccinations. I expected to do the same with this daughter, but I wasn’t sure where to get it done. Naturally, I asked my Mommy Group on Facebook.
Oh boy.

If you belong to a Mommy Group, you know that at times, they can be the most supporting and understanding group of people on the planet. Other times, they can be the most judgmental, mom-shaming gang of mean girls you’ll ever encounter.

“How can you justify mutilating your baby’s body just for your own selfish wants?” One mom responded. Another mom said, “Piercing your baby’s ears is equivalent to child abuse.”

Child abuse? Mutilation? Whaaaaat?

There were other moms offering advice, suggesting the local pediatric clinic as well as piercing parlors. I learned that it was better if needles were used rather piercing guns, though I am still not sure why. I did not expect to be met with such disdain. The post turned into a full-on contentious debate between pro and anti-piercers. I had never seen the words “body modification” tossed around so much on one thread. It even sparked an argument about circumcision.  Uh, yes, my twenty-one year old son is circumcized, just as his father and grandfather before him. My ears are pierced just as my mother and grandmother before her.

Call me old-fashioned, but I would like go back to the time when you parent your way, I parent my way, and we all bring our favorite dish to the potluck block party in peace.

…now get off my lawn.




I'm a forty-something river goddess, music enthusiast, author, blogger, crafter, couponer, DIYer, budgeter, campground manager, wife, momma to nine, and doting grandmother to four... Mostly, I'm just a gal that has a lot to say.

One thought on “Call Me Old-Fashioned, but…

  1. I had my daughter’s ears pierced when she was about three months old. In fact, I did it myself at home,.. after discussing with my pediatrician! I’m not Latin so it wasn’t a cultural decision and yes, I am a very good mother in spite of anyones opinions on the subject. It was simply a choice that I made for her. Boy, did I have to listen to grief from ‘advice givers’. I listened to my PEDIATRICIAN. She said, “Actually,it is better to do it at a young age. You,as the parent will keep it clean. You will keep ear rings in. She won’t notice them. The holes won’t close up. She won’t get infected and constantly re-do them.” She gave me some suggestions for moms having their daughter’s ears pierced and also doing it at home in a safe, sterile way if I wanted to avoid the malls and such. I chose the later and it was a wonderful bonding experience. It was super simple and she barely whimpered. However, I know having someone else do it is the usual norm which is okay too, if you know where to go and how to find the right person and place.

    My pediatrician was correct. My daughter was thrilled when she was older. I kept her pierced ears clean. She wore tiny,little earrings all her life. They never closed up. She never,ever knew about ‘the piercing’. Her friends were jealous. Many went through. INFECTIONS. PAIN.RE-PIERCING. My daughter has NEVER,EVER experienced any such things. In addition, she can go FOREVER without wearing earrings and her HOLES NEVER close up. She is two and a half now and has never had any problems with her ears becoming infected or hurt. She gets thrilled when she gets new earrings and is a total girlie girl. I did it when she was young so that I could take care of them and they would be healed before she even knew they were there. I have never been afraid that she would “eat them” or do any of the other ridiculous things that some people have mentioned. Your child is more likely to eat any number of things lying around… Spare change, dirt, whatever… Also, FYI, they make earrings with screw backs for young girls so that they can not be played with and easily taken off by them. Bottom line, I did it and I am glad that I did. For all of those self rightous holy than thou folks that are screaming that it is mutilation… Get a clue. Sometimes an earring is just an earring.

    I think it is funny these ‘mommy bloggers’ have gotten themselves in tizzy over a Model,Gisele piercing her daughters ears. SERIOUSLY? I think we could get into a tizzy over some other things. Let me suggest some things.

    Liz, I say go ahead and follow your mommy intution getting her ears pierced now. Don’t listen to the naysayers, but only yourself since you know what is best for your daughter. If you’d like our ped’s tips for taking her to have her ears pierced or interested in doing it in the comfort of your home, please drop me an email. Promise your daughter will look adorable with little earrings in her holiday pictures and she’ll thank you later for following your heart.



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