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Moms Pages Blues

Oh, those crazy Moms pages on Facebook. I am a member of several. Sometimes I want to remove myself and sometimes I can’t stop myself from interjecting. Something I’ve noticed over the past year is that the same questions are asked over and over, sometimes several times a week! Today, as was I scrolling through the Moms feed, I realized that pretty soon, after my baby is born I’m going to be asking the same questions. EEK!

“Where can I get an amber teething necklace locally?”
Granted, I have no idea what an amber teething necklace is, but I’ve seen it asked 412 times, so I’m pretty sure my baby will need one, too. Also, I always try to shop locally.

“I’m in need of this specialty customized cake for my baby’s 1st birthday. I need it by Saturday and it can’t cost a fortune! Who do you recommend?”
Truth be told, I’ve bought sheet cakes from the grocery store or made a cake from a box for my older kids’ birthdays. Apparently, I’m failing as a mother and only a precisionly hand-made Frozen theme cake with life-like Anna & Elsa and glittered snowflakes will do for my precious little princess.

“I’m also going to need a bouncy house for her 1st birthday party. Who has the least expensive ones to rent that will come to my house on 4 days notice, set it up, and take it down after the party? Also, it can’t damage my freshly landscaped yard.”
A bouncy house for a 1 year old? …I guess so. I’m pretty sure we just held parties in the kitchen and I bounced my babies on my lap. Also, by “freshly landscaped yard,” I mean that we finally paid the teenager down the street to mow over our jungle after we got a letter from the city asking if we abandoned our dwelling.

“ISO of a reliable babysitter that is insured & bonded and has a current CPR certification.”
Would I sound like an old lady if I said, “Back in my day, we asked the teen-aged girl down the street to watch our baby.”?

“Ladies, my car seat is about to expire. What product do you recommend for a forward facing seat that has a mobile, a cup-holder, radio, comes in a variety colors & patterns, and is the safest for my precious cargo?”
Car seats expire?

“I know this asked been asked a jillion times already, but where do kids eat free tonight?”
Yes, it has been asked a jillion times. In fact, if you just scroll down three posts, you’ll find the answer. (If you could tag me in it though, that would be great – I don’t feel like searching either.)

“I know you girls aren’t Doctors, but can you look at my child’s disgusting rash and diagnose it for me, please.”
Ew, just, ew. If I ever do this, please unfriend me on Facebook and in real life.

“I’m looking for an experienced, gentle groomer that will handle my fur baby the same I would handle my human baby.”
Hahahahahahaha! Just kidding. We all know the best groomer in town is Jose Castelan at Happy Tails Pet Ranch  (830) 625-5700. He offers discounts to Moms of New Braunfels on Facebook!

Yeah, yeah, yeah…. shameless plug for my husband, but he really is the best groomer in New Braunfels. I swear I’m not biased.

moms

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Author:

I'm a forty-something river goddess, music enthusiast, campground manager, wife, momma to eight, and doting grandmother to three... Mostly, I'm just a gal that has a lot to say.

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