Having the name Elizabeth, I’ve been called every derivative of it my entire 38 years. People are too lazy to enunciate 4 syllables. I’ve introduced myself as Elizabeth only to be asked, “Oh, do you go by Liz? (Or Beth, Betsy, Lizzy, Liz, Lizbeth, etc)”
Um, no. I feel like if I went by something other than what I am introducing myself as, I would probably have just said that in the first place. But that is neither here nor there. I’ve gone by several in my lifetime and am usually happy to not get called something derogatory.
All of that being said, I don’t know if I am the one not properly pronouncing, if it’s my shitty phone reception at work, or if people just don’t listen, but this happened yesterday:
Me: “Camp Huaco Springs, this is Liz.”
Caller: “Hi Lou, I’d like to make a reservation…”
(Did I not verbalize that “z” correctly?)
(Let’s try a different tactic)
Me: “Camp Huaco Springs, this is Elizabeth.”
Caller: “Hi Melissa, I’d like to make a reservation…”
(Who the fuck is Melissa?)
(This will work for sure)
Me: “Camp Huaco Springs, this is Beth.”
Caller: “Hi Bess, I’d like to make a reservation…”
(Seriously?! The only Bess I know is at the River Road Ice House and that gal is awesome & a one of a kind. Is Bess REALLY that common?)
(Fuck this, who needs a name?)
Me: “Camp Huaco Springs, how may I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, who am I speaking with?”
(…fuckity, shit, shit, fuck and willy. Willy, shit and fuck and… tits.)
*suddenly, I’m a character from the ‘The King’s Speech’*
I’M THE GODDAMN RESERVATION FAIRY.
MY NAME IS UNIMPORTANT.