Posted in Personal, Relationships, Uncategorized

Good(en) Grief

I lost one of my best friends yesterday unexpectedly. It was a hard blow. One I don’t think I’ll recover from in a long time. I haven’t felt this way since I lost Jenny (a mother figure to me) about 6 months ago when she lost her battle to leukemia. In fact, this loss feels worse.

I’ve thought of you constantly since I got the news. There are so many things I wanted to say to you and I didn’t. Even worse, there are so many things I said to you over the years that I wish I could take back. I think of all the petty arguments we’ve had and I’m filled with regret. I think of all the times we drove around aimlessly and lost. Neither one of us ever had any navigational skills. We sure made some stupid decisions, but we made amazing memories and that’s all I have now. I recall all the times when you consoled me when I was sad (like when my Dad died), you would admit that you didn’t know what to say, but you were there for me and I just wish I could feel your hug right now. How can I be consoled over your loss when you were always the only one that could make me feel better? Who is going to do that now?

I know I’m being selfish because I can only think about how this affects me. I honestly thought we would have each others back forever. I feel very empty, lost, and alone right now. I’m a lucky girl because I’m surrounded by so many people that love and care for me. I have other wonderful friends and my family is the best, but my life is just not complete without you.

I hope you know that I will think of you every day for the rest of my life and I will love you until the end of time. When we do see each other again, I fully expect to see your amazing smile on your face and a cold beer in your hand waiting to welcome me.

Good(en)-Bye, my friend. I love you.

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Author:

I'm a forty-something river goddess, music enthusiast, campground manager, wife, momma to eight, and doting grandmother to three... Mostly, I'm just a gal that has a lot to say.

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