Once upon a time, a long, long time ago (about 2 years ago), in a far away land called Houston, there were two young, beautiful princesses named Liz and Sandy. Liz and Sandy were forced to slave away at desk jobs in the Evil Empire. The Evil Empire was run by a Witch Doctor who practiced voo doo. The two princesses were the most brilliant and fairest in all the land. They were loved and adored by the people, and this angered the mean old Witch Doctor. They were banished to work together in a tiny office in the back of the Empire, furthest away from everybody. The two princesses didn’t mind being exiled to the back of the Empire. There, they could talk together about what it would be like to one day be free. Once a day, they were allowed to leave the Evil Empire for nourishment. They would slip away, out the back door and have wonderful lunchtime adventures together where they would sample the cuisines from far away places. They would have Thai food with fish oil, Hoisen sauce, and fresh carrots and cilantro. They would sample the tidings of a place called Classic Café that had amazing sandwiches with juicy turkey breast, cream cheese, avocado, and alfalfa sprouts. They ate roast beef and horsey sauce from a mystical eatery called Arby’s. Ah, yes, this was one of the best parts of the day for our princesses…
At the time, Princess Sandy was pregnant with a baby boy she later named Cody Stone after her heroes, Stoney La Rue and Cody Canada. They played the most harmonious and magical Texas Country music. Sandy was so moved by their melodies, she couldn’t resist naming her 3rd born son after the pair. Princess Liz also had a child she named after her heroes. Her first born child, a daughter, was named Dallas after the Dallas Cowboys. They were the best and mightiest knights in all the lands! Princess Sandy had two other sons, Sir Maximus and Sir Zachary. Princess Liz had two other children also, Sir Brandon, and Lady Mikayla. Maximus, Zachary, and Brandon were destined to become Guitar Heroes and they practiced diligently day and night. Lady Mikayla was fierce and strong and she was destined to become a Dragon Slayer. When the day came for Lady Mikayla to slay the dragon, she instead befriended the dragon and he became her constant companion. He was always at her side, protecting her from evil, and she named her dragon Hamilton.
As the long days would drag on at the Evil Empire (Monday through Friday 8 – 5), the beautiful princesses would talk about the days gone by. Princess Sandy spoke of a beautiful land called New Braunfels, where the Texas Country music was plentiful, there were two glorious spring fed rivers with the cleanest waters (unlike the dirty and polluted water in Houston), and clear starry nights, all surrounded by the magnificent Texas Hill Country. It sounded wonderful to Princess Liz and she dreamed of one day living in a place as wondrous as New Braunfels!
Princess Liz would tell Sandy stories of a time when she was a barkeep at the tavern. The stories were silly and humorous and Princess Sandy loved to hear the tales. She was intrigued by the idea of getting tipped and going home with gold and riches in her pocket everyday! Princess Sandy had never been a barkeep before, but she sure knew a few things about taverns! She had sampled plenty of ales and lagers and had drunk many tankards of different grogs. Her favorite concoction was a liqueur called Jagermeister.
One day, Princess Sandy didn’t come to work. She was very sick and had to go to the hospital. This saddened Princess Liz and she was very lonely. One day, after the chains and shackles were removed at 5:00; Princess Liz went to visit her friend. She snuck in candy bars and sodas. She brought Princess Sandy magazines and books with crossword puzzles, word searches, and Sudoku’s. The two giggled and gossiped until visiting hours were over and Princess Liz was forced to leave.
The next few weeks at the Evil Empire, Princess Liz was miserable. She missed her friend terribly and the mad and jealous ranting of the shriveled old Witch Doctor was almost more than sweet Princess Liz could bear. One Friday, during her lunch break, she rode her chariot to her castle to grub on the delectable tidings created by her husband and chef, Prince Eric. By the time she crossed the threshold of her castle, tears were streaming down her face and her blue eyes were the bluest they had ever been. Prince Eric consoled poor Princess Elizabeth. He wanted his fair maiden to be happy and he knew the only way he could make her happy was to help her flee the Evil Empire. Prince Eric plotted and planned their escape. That very weekend he took Princess Liz to the magical land of New Braunfels. It was just as beautiful and peaceful as Princess Sandy had promised! The two fell in love with the land and immediately found the perfect castle. The castle was made of brick and looked very similar to all the other castles, but it was nice and there were plenty of children for the young lads and lasses to play with. The rivers were all that Princess Liz had imagined they would be. The wildlife was wild, the hills were hilly, the forest was forresty, and New Braunfels had the bluest skies in Texas!
Princess Liz and Prince Eric were quite content in their cookie cutter castle on the cul-de-sac. They worked on the river and enjoyed fishing, camping, swimming, and rafting. They lived happily ever after. Sadly, Princess Sandy and Princess Liz never saw each other again. After Princess Sandy was released from the hospital, she never returned to the Evil Empire. With the help of her sister, she was able to escape to a land called College Station. There were a great many people from a clan called Aggies and Sandy knew this wasn’t where she was meant to be. Princess Sandy yearned for more out of life and knew that one day her luck would change. And one day, it did… She had met her Prince Charming, otherwise known as Friar Tuck, or to her, King Louie and together they settled down in a cookie cutter castle on a cul-de-sac and they too, lived happily ever after.