It was last Tuesday and I had to stay home from work to be with my grandson who was sick. My daughter couldn’t get out of her shift at work and he couldn’t go to daycare so I got to play hooky from my job! Seeing as how I’m usually a “river goddess” it had been a long time since I was a “domestic goddess,” but I was up for the task.
I woke up on a mission. I had big plans. I was going to show those stay-at-home-moms that working-moms could do it, too. First things first, I thawed the venison and began prepping for the pot of chili I was making for dinner. My can opener wouldn’t work. I had to open the tomato sauce, ro-tel, and chili beans by hand. That totally sucked. Moving on… I got all the ingredients in the crock pot, cooked the venison, added my spices, turned it on low, and felt pretty good about myself. Dinner would be ready by 7pm. I decided to wait to make the cornbread so it would be warm and fresh when I served it. In the midst of getting everything ready for the chili, I realized my pantry was a total disaster. I decided to go ahead and clean it out. That meant taking everything out of there, placing it on my kitchen table, dumping the expired stuff, and putting it all back in an organized manner. By now, my grandson had woken up from his morning nap and was a wee bit on the cranky side. After a diaper change and snot-wiping, I decided he was hungry and set him up in his high chair for some juice and a snack. Bear in mind I had the entire contents of my pantry piled on the kitchen table. I kid you not, I turned my back for 3 tiny seconds to fill his sippy cup and BAM! I heard it. It sounded like a rain stick or a kaleidoscope. I turned around to see that he had poured an entire 16 oz package of brown rice all over the kitchen floor. And the table. And his lap. And his high chair. And I’m pretty sure there was rice in my chandelier. Do you know how difficult it is to get every piece of rice up from the kitchen and a toddler? Neither do I because I’m still finding rice over a week later. That shit multiplies when you’re not looking. Meanwhile, what felt like an hour later, the floor is swept, my grandson is relatively clean, the chili is smelling good, and I’m ready to tackle the pantry. As I put things away (like items go together) I notice a can of evaporated milk, a can of pumpkin (when did I buy that?) and a box of graham crackers. That’s when I decided to make a dessert to go with my bad ass home cooked meal. That’s also when my grandson decided that he needed to play with every single toy he owned in the middle of the kitchen floor. (Dang, that little dude is fast! How did he get all that stuff in there so quick?!)
Now that the pantry is complete and Lyric is watching the Disney Channel, I sit down with my goodies to see if I can put together some sort of dessert. The back of the graham cracker box has a recipe for a crust. The back of the pumpkin has a recipe for pie. I decide to wing it and make pumpkin squares. I remembered a recipe for cream cheese frosting that only had 3 ingredients. Things were coming along nicely. I used the manual can opener (again, ugh) for the pumpkin and Pet milk, whipped it all up, placed it in the oven, went to set the timer, glanced at the clock, and… HOLY FUCK! it was already 1:30 in the afternoon! Where did my day go? We didn’t even stop for lunch! My daughter was due home from work in two hours and I felt like I had accomplished so little. I kicked it into high gear, cleaned up my mess, washed all the dishes, put Lyric down for a nap, made my frosting, took the pumpkin bars out of the oven to cool, made 2 dozen corn muffins, and plopped my butt down on the sofa to relax. Two minutes later, my daughter walked in the house…
Looking around at all the toys strewn about the living room and giving me a hard once-over, she says, “Dang Mom, I thought you had big plans today! Have you just been sitting on the couch all day doing nothing?”
I look down at myself and realize I am still in my pajamas, my hair hasn’t been brushed, my teeth haven’t been brushed, and yesterdays make-up looked a lot better yesterday. I was a hot mess and so was the rest of the house. (except the kitchen) So, props to you June Cleavers out there. I may be able to manage multimillion dollar businesses, wildlife creeping into the campground, drunks, sunburns, medical emergencies, hungover and late staff, and most any computer-related disaster handed my way, but managing to put myself together while caring for a sick toddler, preparing meals, and keeping up with the housework seems to be outside my realm of capabilities. Hats off to you stay-at-home-moms! Your job is HARD.
We did enjoy a nice chili and corn muffin dinner at the clean table, followed by delicious pumpkin bars. It’s highly probable those dirty dishes are still sitting in my kitchen sink one week later. Dallas was exhausted from her day at work, I was exhausted from my day not at work, and Lyric was exhausted from being sick and playing. We cuddled on the couch and watched ‘The Godfather.’ (Don’t judge me. It was ‘Mob Week’ on AMC and they made us an offer we couldn’t refuse.) Actually, the point of this blog was to share with you the recipe for my fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants pumpkin bars that I threw together and came out fabulously! So, here ya go:
Miss Liz Pumpkin Bars
1 1/2 cups ground graham crackers
1/3 cup sugar
6 tablespoons butter
Mix it all together and press into the bottom of 8 X 11 pan
Follow the directions on the back of the pumpkin can and add 2 cups flour. Pour entire mixture over the graham cracker crust and bake at suggested temperature for suggested time.
Cream Cheese Icing
8 oz. cream cheese, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
1/4 cup butter, softened
Mix it all together, store in fridge, spread on cooled bars and top with sprinkled nuts!
NOW GET YOUR GRUB ON!